wolfwood catchall (fake)

[honkinbigteeth]

tbd

Comments

week 1; thursday

[honkinbigteeth]

[shortly before curfew, wolfwood will get a text.]

I need your opinion on something. What do you really think about Lambda?

[crucifer]

She's weird.
Maybe not necessarily a bad person but she really gets up in my shit about the weirdest stuff.
Why?

[honkinbigteeth]

Do you think she's pretty? Or are there any people here who are prettier than her?

[crucifer]

[ Thinks about it... ]

I don't think she's bad on the eyes but not my type.
I care a lot about personality.

[honkinbigteeth]

I see.
That's interesting, isn't it, Lambda?

[diluvian]

It is. Thank you, Ylfa.

Yours leaves a lot to be desired, Nicholas D. Wolfood.

[crucifer]

Ask questions and get answers.
I'm not gonna lie and tell everyone you're an outright princess.
Jesus, why is everyone interested in what girls I like this week?

[diluvian]

That's for the best. I'm a goddess.

Who's asking you about your taste in girls?

[crucifer]

Wouldn't you like to know?
It might be girls who don't bait me into chat groups.

[diluvian]

I don't care about your tastes, but I do think it's amusing if so many want to hear it from you.

[crucifer]

I wish people wouldn't.
Why, exactly, did you two do this?

[diluvian]

I already told you I didn't care. Put two and two together already.

[honkinbigteeth]

i told you you were mean to my friend...

i do like you wolfwood and i think you are nice and didnt mean anything by it but you should be more considerate! or else!

[crucifer]

Is she not your friend?!
Which friend is this, the frog?!

[ There are at least two frogs. ]

[honkinbigteeth]

hes not a frog hes a human man who is cursed 😡 and hes having a hard time!

[diluvian]

What did Wolfwood do to Gerard?

[honkinbigteeth]

im not sure exactly but he hurt his feelings

[crucifer]

I didn't do shit!
Text blondie and big girl if you want your revenge!
I just walked to where I was supposed to go and ended up in a picnic full of spiders!

[diluvian]

Who?

What?

[crucifer]

Spikey was being annoying all week asking about what kind of girl or guy I like and I kept telling him to fuck off, then texted me to meet him at the park and he put me up to a picnic date with frog prince that neither of us asked for.
I didn't do shit.

[honkinbigteeth]

hmm so you didn't invite him out on a date as a cruel prank to damage his self esteem when he is still reeling from the breakdown of his marriage?

[crucifer]

No
Why would I do that?!
I don't hate the guy and if I did, I wouldn't bother attacking the marriage!

[honkinbigteeth]

well ok in that case i forgive you

[crucifer]

Is he okay?

[ NOOO GERARD DON'T BE CRUSHED UNDER THE EXPECTATIONS OF A TRADITIONAL HAPPY MARRIAGE UR SO SEXY ]

[honkinbigteeth]

hes ok hes just sensitive because becoming a monster tends to give you a complex over whether youre even worthy of love

but if you werent doing it on purpose i dont have to enact a campaign of psychological warfare on you which is a relief

[crucifer]

[ Wow that is so real. If this entire situation wasn't so insane he would feel like he got hit by a truck with that but the absurdity takes over. ]

You can enact a psychological warfare campaign on blondie and I will help with that.

[honkinbigteeth]

[yeah its very real to her too.]

dont worry i sent him a very similar text.

[crucifer]

I'm going to put the leftover spiders in his pillows.

[diluvian]

You can tell him and yourself that the love you receive as a monster is purer than when you're not a monster.

[honkinbigteeth]

thats sort of the same thing my grandma said...

[diluvian]

It's true. The likelihood someone will stay when your curse is broken is higher than someone staying when you've become cursed.

You should aim to find someone who does both. They're not good enough if they won't do both.

[honkinbigteeth]

i think so, too...but im a little farther along in my journey of self-acceptance, in part because my transformation makes me cool and powerful

[diluvian]

Gerard is lost in the woods still.

As long as you continue on your path, you'll make it.

[honkinbigteeth]

thats what mom always told me but i decided not to listen to that advice anymore.

im not going to leave anyone lost.

[diluvian]

Did I ever say your path had to be taken alone?

[honkinbigteeth]

no but staying on the path is a sensitive topic for me.

[diluvian]

Then burn the whole forest down, so anywhere can your path.

[honkinbigteeth]

I like that a little better.

[diluvian]

[ lambda thinks gerard's feelings get hurt by simply existing, but she won't type that. ]

How terrible of him. Don't you think as a priest or whatever he is, the man should confess?

[honkinbigteeth]

[that's fair that's fair.]

[honkinbigteeth]

NEXT TIME THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU'RE MEAN TO MY FRIEND WOLFWOOD!!!!

[crucifer]

How was I mean about it?!

[diluvian]

You're climbing the ranks, Ylfa.