jonas catchall

[honkinbigteeth]

tbd

Comments

[westedge]

[ this is. a lot.

it explains several things, and jonas is cringing a little at the fighting itself because despite being a teenage boy who has been dealing with some shit this is still like next level for him. but he doesn't shy away from what he's seeing and even when it ends, he doesn't speak right away.

instead, he takes a few moments, an arm crossed over his stomach to hug his side as he thinks of how he wants to say...well, anything. ]

...not that you really need my advice about, like, anything, but I do think it's possible for a person to have done monstrous things and still not really be a monster. Mostly because I sincerely doubt a monster would agonize so much over being seen as one when all they're trying to do is help.

[honkinbigteeth]

...Yeah.

[no, she appreciates his advice, really.]

Well, I've been thinking about it for a while, and I'm okay with being a monster, really. I think the silver lining of it might be that I can decide what kind of monster I am.

[westedge]

I'd say that's a pretty good silver lining, to be honest. You can accept that something is a certain way, but being able to decide what to do with the hand you've been given is...a really powerful thing. [ there's a pause. ] It kind of reminds me of something Shenhe told me. She...I don't think she ever liked that I smoke, but I told her why I do. So later, she surprised me with a pack. I asked her why, and she said it was because she had decided she wanted to be a person who helped instead of hurt.

I think you might be the same. All you've wanted to do is keep your friends safe no matter what the cost or what that might mean for you, right? That's pretty brave.

[honkinbigteeth]

[shenhe :( ]

If I could be like Shenhe, that would make me really, really happy.

[westedge]

I mean...who says you can't? [ there's a shrug. ] You're off to a good start already, so maybe it's just about keeping it up.

[ he says this, but it's obvious he's still a little fucked up about shenhe being gone so. ]

I think she'd probably say you're doing fine being who you are though. For what it's worth.

[honkinbigteeth]

[so is she, so is she.]

...She was one of my favorite people here.

[westedge]

[ heh. ]

Mine, too. Shenhe was one of those people who just sort of got it without me having to explain much. I think I miss that more than anything now.

[honkinbigteeth]

Yeah.

[mood.]

Me too. She always understood. But we could be friends, too, if you want to be.

[westedge]

[ he sort of laughs at that. ]

Are we not already? My bad. I guess I should've asked first.

[honkinbigteeth]

[awww.]

Well, I like you. But I mean we could be better friends, maybe...

[westedge]

I think there's probably always room to be better friends with people. [ or, at least, mutual acceptance. he does not go into the difference since this is a different case. ] So you know what? Yeah. I'm down if you are.