or rang lee ugh but its messy because buzen and matsui wanted to give all of us a chance before they took theirs i think matsui was kind of he didnt want to have to hurt anybody anymore that was the most important thing to him so when he found out about his world he
all it meant is he died feeling like hed have to give up that important thing
its so weird i was so sure it was most fair to let everyone read those messages and give them a chance to decide to fight for themselves because it feels like so many people are in denial and just want to believe there will be a happy ending no matter what but maybe some people arent ready to wake up from that
I'm not sure even now if it was better or worse. I find myself thinking about what it would've been like, if he did survive. Would that kind of existence be too painful? Someone told me once that it's better to die if you can't be free. For what it's worth. I just wish he'd had a choice in the matter, but this place puts a strain on choice and agency both.
As for the chance to fight, and denial - they say ignorance is bliss. I can't live that way. I'm glad I knew about it. I'd rather have the chance to choose.
But even that has a chain reaction. If someone does decide to fight, then it might determine victims. Why not pick off me, or you, or Vash? Or any of the others - because our worlds wouldn't be destroyed on impact? And that has its own set of consequences, too. It might come with the destruction of a different kind of world entirely, something more personal or emotional.
Ultimately, everyone just has to make the decisions they feel like they can live with, and whatever consequences they recognize or don't recognize, they have to live with those too.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2023-07-10 02:59 am (UTC)i just think
i know he was going to die
but i didnt want him to
no subject
Date: 2023-07-10 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-07-10 11:58 am (UTC)ugh
but its messy
because buzen and matsui wanted to give all of us a chance before they took theirs
i think matsui was kind of
he didnt want to have to hurt anybody anymore
that was the most important thing to him
so when he found out about his world he
all it meant is he died feeling like hed have to give up that important thing
its so weird
i was so sure it was most fair to let everyone read those messages and give them a chance to decide to fight for themselves
because it feels like so many people are in denial
and just want to believe there will be a happy ending no matter what
but maybe some people arent ready to wake up from that
no subject
Date: 2023-07-10 03:57 pm (UTC)I think so, too.
On all counts.
I'm not sure even now if it was better or worse.
I find myself thinking about what it would've been like, if he did survive.
Would that kind of existence be too painful?
Someone told me once that it's better to die if you can't be free.
For what it's worth. I just wish he'd had a choice in the matter, but this place puts a strain on choice and agency both.
As for the chance to fight, and denial - they say ignorance is bliss.
I can't live that way. I'm glad I knew about it.
I'd rather have the chance to choose.
But even that has a chain reaction. If someone does decide to fight, then it might determine victims.
Why not pick off me, or you, or Vash? Or any of the others - because our worlds wouldn't be destroyed on impact?
And that has its own set of consequences, too.
It might come with the destruction of a different kind of world entirely, something more personal or emotional.
Ultimately, everyone just has to make the decisions they feel like they can live with, and whatever consequences they recognize or don't recognize, they have to live with those too.