BUT the other part is more exciting so he, even in clippy view, seems to lean forward a little bit. ] Do you think that would work? Finding someone who loved him to kiss him, here.
I assumed probably not because true love is a really confusing concept but it definitely seems like it's supposed to only count if a beautiful princess is involved and you get married after, and Amelia is too young and Zelda already has a boyfriend. But there's a very specific reason why it might work if its a bunch of people who love him even if it's not in a true love way.
[she actually seems a little upset. not like, significantly, but like, there is a part of her that thinks what you say about someone's story is important and real and she doesn't want to joke about it.]
[ he's good enough with people that he laughs it off immediately and waves his hand. ]
Kidding, kidding. Let's not manifest anything too strange into the universe, since you all seem to be manifesting us. Let's just hope for Gerard it works out and he's able to get what he wants out of it all. I'm not sure if he even noticed that he looked different, so I kept it to myself, for now.
I did talk to him a bit about Elody. I think that, for as awful as this experience has been, he may have some new things to talk to her about. [ a beat. ] Well. If she wants to talk to him, I suppose.
[bluh! not that she can emotion share but her emotion is DISLIKE.]
Anyway, Gerard is fine the way he is. I like him like this. He's cool and he can hop around and breathe underwater and eat spiders. It only matters that he's a frog because he doesn't want to be. And the same thing is true of Elody. Her opinion on anything only matters because it matters to him.
That still matters, though. [ because it matters to gerard. it's gentle when he says it; despite everything, fei du has become very, very fond of gerard. stan. ] Acceptance looks different for everyone, and we can only apply what we feel about ourselves in our own context, and I'm sure it matters to him that you're accepting it, too, even if you don't like it.
I like what you said about the idea of being loved by many people, but, if he never accepts it as anything but a statement with a "but" on the end - "They're my friends, but..." - then I have to wonder if it will change anything at all.
As for his relationship with her... it's like you said before, that love is complicated. I think he's given up a lot for her, as far as I can see from what I've been told. I'm not sure if she gave up an equivalent amount in exchange.
[i gotta tell you man she really, really did. gerard like the equivalent of every r/relationships post "help why is my wife not fun anymore also why does she think the household chores (war) is more important than my hobbies why does she rudely keep bringing up the problems in our marriage and our lives when i'm obviously trying to change the subject, update: she left me in a suicidal depression and i turned into a frog now i see that i was the asshole so how do i fix this"
but ylfa is such a 12 year old and that frog is her blorbo.]
I don't get why that has to be a "but." Why does it only matter if it's her? Why does she get to decide whether he's good enough and nothing else is as important?
[she's twelve, and she doesn't really get romantic love, and everything everyone has ever told her about it has just been that it's different and it's the most important thing in the world, and that simply seems stupid.]
[ HELP THIS ENTIRE EXPLANATION TOOK ME OUT CONTEXTLESS NEVERAFTER IS A NIGHTMARE
anyway, fei du thinks it over for a moment, weighing it. ]
I'm not really an expert on the subject - feelings aren't exactly my forte. [ he's a sociopath with no emotions, etc etc. ]
... But, he chose her, and chose for it to be that way. And the only one who can decide whether he wants to choose her, or step away from her, is him. Whether it's healthy or not. There are some things that we can't control because they're out of our hands in the first place. As frustrating as that can be.
[me writing salty 12 year old anti-elody tags while oocly like no... she's right...
anyway, this explanation satisfies her. it sounds right, even if it's annoying. elody matters because he decided she matters. and none of this is how she was told love is supposed to be, but she's already aware the lessons she was taught in stories miss too much.]
Well. I always supported him trying to find Elody, and really wanted to find her, but then when we met her, she - she was really cold and didn't seem happy to see him or like she cared about the things he'd been through, and she hurt him a lot and she wouldn't listen.
She's mixed up with some people who are kind of awful? And I guess also sympathetic in a weird way, but still awful. And she trusted them over him even though he tried really hard to explain to her why she needed to trust us when we told her what they were up to.
So I just kind of - I don't know. Even if he made mistakes, he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.
[ coming back to these threads is extremely funny after the events of the past few days god.
anyway. ]
When things go wrong in that kind of situation, it's rarely ever just one sided. [ so, yeah, it sounds like she's also done a lot of things wrong, but. gerard has probably done some mistakes even if there are more mistakes that only i know of. ]
Maybe it's better for them to be apart - if only that both could do some growing. A new context can change things, so for him, maybe the hope of it all isn't lost, and for you, maybe things could be better between them to make things more right. Maybe the people that they are are incompatible, for a variety of reasons, but maybe they people they will be could be healthier.
...And preferably, if things do end up going that way, they will without so many awful people - the princesses? Right?
[it's definitely a matter of the fact that the gerard they both know now is a person who has done a lot of growing and reflecting and neither of them have perspective on how things were before all of that.]
...Yeah. [the princesses. very funny now. ruby you are truly so princess coded.] It's weird because I basically grew up believing that being a princess was the best thing you could be, and hoping that when I was older, I'd be one somehow? Like maybe not literally, though sometimes in stories even an ordinary girl becomes a princess, and that counts. For stories, at least. But, you know, that I'd be beautiful and gentle and everybody who saw me would fall in love with me and woodland creatures would flock to me and stuff.
And they all are kind of like that but they're also all extremely miserable. Well, Rosamund is a princess too but she's on our side and is one of the best people ever, but I think what she said is that like...her whole story is about other people doing things, and all she does is be beautiful and fall asleep. I think it's like that for a lot of them.
[ oh, that last part - he makes a little noise, agreeing. ]
Gerard mentioned something similar, relating to Elody; in that she didn't get to have any agency. It's something I find to be interesting, about your world. That you all are about these stories, and so many of these stories are two-dimensional in ways that none of you are.
[ and having had to live through it, he sort of gets it. ] I think ultimately, everyone's a little more miserable than they let on, no matter how brilliant and lovely the facade is. It's very easy to look put together.
[ he says from experience ] So, maybe it's better to be honest about it all in the first place. [ he says, like he absolutely will never ever do ] Who knows.
Yeah, that's the sort of thing people always say as advice for you, though. For you, it's probably best to be honest and being pretty isn't even that important...
[she doesn't necessarily disagree but she does get sick of people saying it to her when it's clear they don't follow it themselves; it kind of implies they're trying to reassure her that the situation she's stuck with is fine. she's not mad at him, though. it's the kind of thing rosamund and tim says and she adores them, it's just also sort of stupid.]
But I do get it. I mean, my story is supposed to be about how if you don't listen to your parents a wolf is going to eat you and your grandma and it'll be all your fault. And then a guy with an ax shows up sometimes and saves me in time. I don't really want that to be the whole point to my life, either.
The disagreement is really more that they think it can't be fixed, so they'd rather destroy it all. Though even that, I'm not sure all of them understand what destroying it all actually means...
I'll be frank: I hate being honest, and I love being pretty.
[ the deadpan way he delivers this suggests that it is only like 5% a joke. but, she's right - in that, it's not like fei du is going to be honest. it probably is better, but he will not start being honest anytime soon. every time it seems like he's going to start trying to tell the truth, start trying to be a little bit healthier, he backtracks almost immediately. its always three steps forward, two steps back - it's one of the more annoying aspects of fei du's personality, and he is keenly aware of it. ] But, I know what you mean. I can say it all I want, but, I know I won't act on it either - maybe it's advice I need to repeat to myself, too.
As for destruction... Well, that seems counterproductive, in my opinion. [ ruby like two days from now: i'm gonna blow up the game!!! ] Do you think it's out of desperation? I can see why something like that would feel like you're trapped.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2023-08-02 01:06 pm (UTC)Yes - I must have driven too fast.
[ he says, like a liar.
BUT the other part is more exciting so he, even in clippy view, seems to lean forward a little bit. ] Do you think that would work? Finding someone who loved him to kiss him, here.
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:09 pm (UTC)[no this is nonsense.]
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:12 pm (UTC)[ help this entire explanation is so funny. the power of friendship. fei du looks a little amused, but he keeps it to himself. ]
I'd think this kind of thing would have to be mutual. [ even if he was a frog who was interested in polyamory ] Right?
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:21 pm (UTC)[she didn't necessarily mean romantic love, anyway. he is pretty much a wife guy.]
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:23 pm (UTC)To me, it makes sense. Maybe he has to learn to love himself a little more and let others love him.
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-08-02 01:28 pm (UTC)The extra part you wrote?
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:35 pm (UTC)[she really just defaced a library book and thinks she did something.]
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:36 pm (UTC)I'm going to make something up and pretend it's the truth.
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Date: 2023-08-02 01:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-08-02 02:56 pm (UTC)[ don't ]
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Date: 2023-08-02 03:00 pm (UTC)[she actually seems a little upset. not like, significantly, but like, there is a part of her that thinks what you say about someone's story is important and real and she doesn't want to joke about it.]
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Date: 2023-08-02 03:05 pm (UTC)Kidding, kidding. Let's not manifest anything too strange into the universe, since you all seem to be manifesting us. Let's just hope for Gerard it works out and he's able to get what he wants out of it all. I'm not sure if he even noticed that he looked different, so I kept it to myself, for now.
I did talk to him a bit about Elody. I think that, for as awful as this experience has been, he may have some new things to talk to her about. [ a beat. ] Well. If she wants to talk to him, I suppose.
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Date: 2023-08-02 03:11 pm (UTC)[bluh! not that she can emotion share but her emotion is DISLIKE.]
Anyway, Gerard is fine the way he is. I like him like this. He's cool and he can hop around and breathe underwater and eat spiders. It only matters that he's a frog because he doesn't want to be. And the same thing is true of Elody. Her opinion on anything only matters because it matters to him.
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Date: 2023-08-02 03:17 pm (UTC)That still matters, though. [ because it matters to gerard. it's gentle when he says it; despite everything, fei du has become very, very fond of gerard. stan. ] Acceptance looks different for everyone, and we can only apply what we feel about ourselves in our own context, and I'm sure it matters to him that you're accepting it, too, even if you don't like it.
I like what you said about the idea of being loved by many people, but, if he never accepts it as anything but a statement with a "but" on the end - "They're my friends, but..." - then I have to wonder if it will change anything at all.
As for his relationship with her... it's like you said before, that love is complicated. I think he's given up a lot for her, as far as I can see from what I've been told. I'm not sure if she gave up an equivalent amount in exchange.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-02 03:29 pm (UTC)but ylfa is such a 12 year old and that frog is her blorbo.]
I don't get why that has to be a "but." Why does it only matter if it's her? Why does she get to decide whether he's good enough and nothing else is as important?
[she's twelve, and she doesn't really get romantic love, and everything everyone has ever told her about it has just been that it's different and it's the most important thing in the world, and that simply seems stupid.]
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Date: 2023-08-02 03:56 pm (UTC)anyway, fei du thinks it over for a moment, weighing it. ]
I'm not really an expert on the subject - feelings aren't exactly my forte. [ he's a sociopath with no emotions, etc etc. ]
... But, he chose her, and chose for it to be that way. And the only one who can decide whether he wants to choose her, or step away from her, is him. Whether it's healthy or not. There are some things that we can't control because they're out of our hands in the first place. As frustrating as that can be.
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Date: 2023-08-02 04:24 pm (UTC)anyway, this explanation satisfies her. it sounds right, even if it's annoying. elody matters because he decided she matters. and none of this is how she was told love is supposed to be, but she's already aware the lessons she was taught in stories miss too much.]
...Yeah, I guess so.
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Date: 2023-08-02 04:30 pm (UTC)christ. annoying but right is about correct for fei du anyway, so he gives her a little bit of a smile. ]
He's lucky to have someone so supportive in his corner, when it comes to you.
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Date: 2023-08-02 10:40 pm (UTC)She's mixed up with some people who are kind of awful? And I guess also sympathetic in a weird way, but still awful. And she trusted them over him even though he tried really hard to explain to her why she needed to trust us when we told her what they were up to.
So I just kind of - I don't know. Even if he made mistakes, he doesn't deserve to be treated like that.
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Date: 2023-08-04 04:06 pm (UTC)anyway. ]
When things go wrong in that kind of situation, it's rarely ever just one sided. [ so, yeah, it sounds like she's also done a lot of things wrong, but. gerard has probably done some mistakes even if there are more mistakes that only i know of. ]
Maybe it's better for them to be apart - if only that both could do some growing. A new context can change things, so for him, maybe the hope of it all isn't lost, and for you, maybe things could be better between them to make things more right. Maybe the people that they are are incompatible, for a variety of reasons, but maybe they people they will be could be healthier.
...And preferably, if things do end up going that way, they will without so many awful people - the princesses? Right?
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Date: 2023-08-04 04:22 pm (UTC)...Yeah. [the princesses. very funny now. ruby you are truly so princess coded.] It's weird because I basically grew up believing that being a princess was the best thing you could be, and hoping that when I was older, I'd be one somehow? Like maybe not literally, though sometimes in stories even an ordinary girl becomes a princess, and that counts. For stories, at least. But, you know, that I'd be beautiful and gentle and everybody who saw me would fall in love with me and woodland creatures would flock to me and stuff.
And they all are kind of like that but they're also all extremely miserable. Well, Rosamund is a princess too but she's on our side and is one of the best people ever, but I think what she said is that like...her whole story is about other people doing things, and all she does is be beautiful and fall asleep. I think it's like that for a lot of them.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-04 04:51 pm (UTC)Gerard mentioned something similar, relating to Elody; in that she didn't get to have any agency. It's something I find to be interesting, about your world. That you all are about these stories, and so many of these stories are two-dimensional in ways that none of you are.
[ and having had to live through it, he sort of gets it. ] I think ultimately, everyone's a little more miserable than they let on, no matter how brilliant and lovely the facade is. It's very easy to look put together.
[ he says from experience ] So, maybe it's better to be honest about it all in the first place. [ he says, like he absolutely will never ever do ] Who knows.
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Date: 2023-08-04 08:49 pm (UTC)Yeah, that's the sort of thing people always say as advice for you, though. For you, it's probably best to be honest and being pretty isn't even that important...
[she doesn't necessarily disagree but she does get sick of people saying it to her when it's clear they don't follow it themselves; it kind of implies they're trying to reassure her that the situation she's stuck with is fine. she's not mad at him, though. it's the kind of thing rosamund and tim says and she adores them, it's just also sort of stupid.]
But I do get it. I mean, my story is supposed to be about how if you don't listen to your parents a wolf is going to eat you and your grandma and it'll be all your fault. And then a guy with an ax shows up sometimes and saves me in time. I don't really want that to be the whole point to my life, either.
The disagreement is really more that they think it can't be fixed, so they'd rather destroy it all. Though even that, I'm not sure all of them understand what destroying it all actually means...
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Date: 2023-08-04 09:03 pm (UTC)[ the deadpan way he delivers this suggests that it is only like 5% a joke. but, she's right - in that, it's not like fei du is going to be honest. it probably is better, but he will not start being honest anytime soon. every time it seems like he's going to start trying to tell the truth, start trying to be a little bit healthier, he backtracks almost immediately. its always three steps forward, two steps back - it's one of the more annoying aspects of fei du's personality, and he is keenly aware of it. ] But, I know what you mean. I can say it all I want, but, I know I won't act on it either - maybe it's advice I need to repeat to myself, too.
As for destruction... Well, that seems counterproductive, in my opinion. [ ruby like two days from now: i'm gonna blow up the game!!! ] Do you think it's out of desperation? I can see why something like that would feel like you're trapped.
(no subject)
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